


I WILL BE A GOD

by Page620



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Gen, I don't know what other tags apply, expounding on the scene, hurt and angry Savitar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-06 17:26:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11605389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Page620/pseuds/Page620
Summary: The confrontation between Barry and Savitar, opening scene 3x21 "Cause and Effect"... internal dialogue. I care too much about the characters in this show.





	I WILL BE A GOD

**Author's Note:**

> I can’t seem to stop writing about Savitar. I feel like the show dwelled mostly on his anger and my brain just went, “where there’s anger, there is pain”. So, I have another one. It’s just the opening part of 3x21 Cause and Effect. There were just so many things that seemed to be going on with Savitar and Barry that were left unsaid. I tried to imagine what was going on in their minds as they conversed and voila.

Savitar looked at Barry. “It’s like looking in a mirror,” he smirked, “well, not quite…” he gestured towards his scars. If Barry knew what he went through – how he got the scars that covered half of his face, destroyed his right eye. If he could see the scars underneath his long sleeves, he probably would have been less cocky with his response.

“You’re not so scary without your armor,” Barry said.

Savitar stared down at the kneeling armor. “What can I say?” he remarked mockingly, “I outgrew red,” he gestured towards Barry who had his brows scrunched up, looking like he wanted to rip off a mask from the person in front of him. **_No, Barry, I am you. This is not a dream. This is who I’ve become…_**

And, as if Barry could hear his thoughts, “I know what you are. You’re a time remnant,” showing his understanding. Justifying the difference between them. **_I’m not you… not really. I can’t be you. This can’t be real._**

“A temporal duplicate,” Savitar corrected. He always hated the word time remnant. It made his existence sound unimportant. He was a god. He had beat the odds, gone back and forth in time, made himself stronger, gathered followers... worshippers. He was not some buy one take one item, “…created when you ran back in time and meet yourself,” he clarified then taunted, “You brought a remnant around last year to defeat Zoom. Your duplicate died to save the multiverse and you continued your happy little life,” he pointed out. ** _You’re a selfish hero, Barry Allen. You really think you’re so above it all… so good and kind. Oh, you beat yourself up about the wrong things you’ve done but no, you still win out in the end, don’t you? People still believe in you… love you… protect you. You still get everything you want. Frost got it right when she said that you think only of yourself and damn anyone else as long as you got your happy ending._**

“But then you,” he pointed at Barry, “decided to play God. You created Flashpoint and changed everything.” **_That’s why you had to create me. You had to use someone else again to fix your mistake._**

“I went to the future,” Barry injected, “My future self told me that he created time remnants to stop you… That you slaughtered them all!” he sounded disgusted. This self-proclaimed God was sounding less like him. There was hurt, most definitely. And anger, yes, that much was certain.

“All but one… me…” he looked at Barry, “I lived. But,” as if trying to stop himself from sounding affected, “a funny thing happened when I did,” he pointed accusingly at him, “You, Joe, Wally, Cisco… you all shunned me because I wasn’t the true Barry Allen,” **_Yes, look at me Barry. This is your fault. This is on you,_** “I was an aberration – a disposable hero. Future you failed to mention that didn’t he?” **_He failed to mention how Joe, awkwardly excused himself whenever I wanted to talk to him. How Cisco had suggested that maybe I could be the one to stay in the Speed Force with Savitar since it wouldn’t really be the real Barry. How Wally wouldn’t acknowledge my presence, understandably since he was in a vegetative state, but still. How future you refused to share the pain of losing Iris like I have no right to feel the same._**

Barry felt confused at the revelation, “How did you become Savitar?” He couldn’t wrap his head around this. Jay Garrick knew about him beforehand. He was regarded as the first speedster. Savitar was a name that struck fear in speedsters from apparently different multiverses.

“I was broken and alone. I wanted the pain to end,” Savitar recalled, “And that’s when I realized the truth, Barry. God feels no pain. All I had to do was become one,” he faced Barry and held out two fingers, “And, I only need two more things. For Iris to die, so that you are driven so far into the dark that I can be born.” ** _See what you’ve led me to do... what I’ve been able to do. I have conquered timelines, killed, and challenged even the Speed Force itself. I am better than you._**

Barry stared hard at him, “And the other?”

Savitar smirked again, “It may sound ironic, given who I’m talking to but, I’ll keep that one to myself.”

**_You don’t get to know everything. You don’t get to plan a way around my intentions. It’s not as if you can. You’ve done enough to make me feel insignificant. I will be the God that people will remember and revere throughout time_**.

“What happens if I kill myself?” Barry threatened, vibrating his hand to his chest, “If I die, then you’ll never be created.” **_I can do it if it means that I'll be saving Iris. I can make things right again._**  

For a moment, Savitar seemed to stiffen at Barry’s words then, as if remembering a different outcome he rebuked the idea, “Cause and effect’s a tricky thing. Didn’t work so well for Eddie, did it? Shot himself in the chest… Thawne’s still kicking around,” Barry slightly winced at the words thrown at him. Eobard Thawne should no longer be alive but Flashpoint gave him a chance to exist again. This was like an unending spiral of things going wrong. **_I can fix this._**

Savitar continued, “See that’s the thing about time travel, Barry. The more you do it, the less the rules apply to you,” he was arrogant in the way he delivered this message. **_You won’t be able to destroy me, Barry. You did this to me. I will be everything you’re so afraid you will turn into._**

“But, us having this conversation now, we’re changing the future,” throwing in one hopeful statement in the whole conversation that seemed to weigh heavily towards the undesirable outcome.

“Are we?” he spoke intimidatingly. “My ascendancy is nearing. When I have control of all of time. It will be you, who is abandoned and forgotten!” **_I will have everything back. I will have the life that I couldn’t get because of your existence. I will finally be free. No more pain and the constant fear of being abandoned and neglected. No, I will be a God._**

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! Yey! It's off my chest. Thanks for reading...


End file.
